Friends As Family

Growing up in a mixed cultural family in the South has made for some confusion when it comes to family and friends. The three different views are:

Dad: Family is more important then anything and you should not care for any other person except for members of your family. Think mafia when it comes to just how intermingled emotions and money are with this side of the family. Friends are rare and generally not associated with although some times they can be adopted.

Mom: Family is important but only as far as they can take care of themselves. If they need help then give them hand, but never help so much that in turn you are deprived of your own happiness. Friendships are plentiful but once again not as important as the family unit.

South: The family unit is almost non-existent. Once out of college siblings barely see each other even if they live in the same sub-division. Instead these bonds are replaced by friendships to the point where half my buddies only see their family on the holidays.

Each of these seem complete foreign to each other. Coming out of it I can now understand how it is impossible for me to live anywhere except Atlanta sense most of my family lives here. On the flip side I have never helped out a single family member when it came to monetary issues. This doesn't mean I wouldn't but only that I've seen the result of one cousin or brother bringing down everyone else. Where I differ from my parents is in hte world of friends.

For me friends are easy to make and still even more enjoyable to bring into the family. Take my 'cousin' Luis. He's actually the son of my Dad's childhood bestfriend (the only friend I know about btw). Despite not being related he has been totally adopted. Still there are two others, David and Brandon, which are on the verge of becoming future uncles to my children. The problem lies in differences in their wives. I'm talking about their relationship to me, which is great, but with each other. For all practical purposes we can say they HATE each other and that has carried over to the xmas party.

This year Brandon did not invite David to the party even though we've all been friends for over 15 years. Admittedly they barely talked to each other while I was away for college but there's at least history. So here is my delima. For me family are people you have no choice but to forgive, no matter what they do to you. You don't have to like them but or even forget their wrongs but in the end you're family. Take my buddy David. He's dated four different girls after I said I was interested, even going as far as stealing two of them after having been on a date. Usually the sort of things get in fights over but since he's family I forgave him.

So why can't these guys forgive each other's wives? The problem is so simple it makes me laugh because both of these ladies don't like each other because they are extemely controlling. Their husbands are both submissive in different ways, one being obedient and the other just not caring. That leaves me with a problem I don't really have a solution to. I should not expect the two of them to kiss and make up as they may not have the same opinions on friendship/family as I do.

Well the xmas party is coming up and it looks like there's going to be drama. Damn I hate drama.